Vroom! Vroom! The car came speeding like a horse around the corner, I wasn't worried because my friend and I were playing football in our driveway. Vroom! The engine roared and it sounded like a monster roaring. Then the car started to get faster, louder, closer and I started wondering about what car it was. As it got closer the ground started to shake like an earthquake. I walked slowly towards the racing car and screech! The racing car suddenly stoped. I bumped into the car and fainted. After I gained consciousness I asked my self "Where am I ?"
By Shaurya
Mrs Fraser - You certainly painted a picture in my mind and build up tension with your descriptions. You left the reader wondering at the end finishing with a question. I would now like you to go back and proofread it with care.
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