The car stopped suddenly.
“Nice Hummer!” I said to myself.
A guy walked out and slammed the car door with a bang. He had a thick bandana, baggy brown jeans with stains on them and a Nike sweatshirt.
“He looks scary”, I said with a quiver.
He approached me. I fumbled my step and fell over.
“You got any sugar?” he asked.
“W – what?” I replied confused.
“It’s my mum’s birthday tomorrow and I’m gonna bake her a cake.” He spoke in a deep voice.
“Ah .. no sorry” I breathed fearfully.
He just drove off without saying another word.
I really like how you have used a new line each time a different person speaks. I also like how you have described what one of the characters was wearing. Your choice of words is excellent eg "I breathed fearfully". Keep up the great effort Joel.
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