I was walking down the long twisted path.
“This is weird” I whispered to myself.
The path went forever. Literally. It just didn’t stop. Suddenly, I was at a tall peak that was crashing into the sea. Wait a second. I can see my brother. He is holding a scary teddy bear.
“I’ll save you!” I shouted.
Bad decision. I fell into the dark ocean. THUD! Ouch. I woke up and hit my head on my bunk bed. I was sweating. I could hear my brother cursing me from the top bunk.
“Just a dream”, I repeated to myself excitedly.
i love how descriptive your language was. really good story!i got a great picture in my head :)
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Mrs Fraser
ReplyDeleteI really like the way you have used onomatopoeia in your writing and how you have used a new line every time someone talks. I also like the way you have never used the word "said". I would now like to see you add a metaphor or simile to this piece of writing while still using 100 words.
This made me smile, as I think we've all had those kinds of dreams. :-)
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