I
crept slowly up the old orange stairs to my surprise I found that the stair
case got separated into two stair case’s one stair case had lots of old rustic
looking car at the top of the other stair case was a large glimmering bath . in
my confusion I took the nicest looking
path I had chosen the path with the elegant glimmering bath a loud mysterious screeching noise came from the bath as I got
closer what looked like a normal sized bath turned into a gigantic bath. I
reached the top and peered in to see ….
Mrs Fraser - You are certainly getting the idea of using WOW words in your writing. Can you use your thesaurus and see if you can come up with another words for "glimmering" as you have used it twice and it would be good to use another word. Also go back and shorten your sentences, they are too long.
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