Monday 25 March 2013

lucky escape...by Tamsyn


The car stopped suddenly. "Alice!" I shrieked, "The car!! It won't move!! We're stuck on a train track, in a car with a train heading for us!!" The flaming crimson train was gaining on us, inch by inch. The train had a face as large as an elephant, with a menacing, granite horn that violently hooted deadly steam. As the colossal ruby train heaved effortlessly towards our harmless peeling, painted, rusty car, I braced myself for the big collision, when suddenly, it didn’t come. Daring to look, I turned in my tatty car seat and looked out the foggy window...

2 comments:

  1. Mrs Fraser
    Tamsyn you certainly painted a picture here. My heart was pounding as I was reading this, would the train get you?? You have used excellent descriptive language. I would now like to see you use a new line when you use speech marks. Think about how it is set out in novels.

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  2. wow got wow words amazing descriptive words and a good story you really put an image in my head

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